The Following was not written by me....however, I'll let you choose you choose your own adventure.(she should write my blogs all the time) The said friend who wrote this also loves the Mayer. Enjoy
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ZEXY
First, a new addition to the blog...
MAYER WATCH 2007
I have taken the liberty of trying to introduce my fair blog to new friends...so I have sent John Mayer's blog with a note asking us to be blog friends....
Day 1- No Response form J. Mayer Blog Camp.... however, hilarious review of email from friends who have decided I was crazy for emailing him (or his blog, which is probably handled by his people... aside... I wonder if his people are called Johnny's Boys? Mayerheads?) But just in case, WELCOME, johnny'sboysmayerheads!
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Scene-- Jon Mark's House. Hot Tub.
Characters--- Nick, Me, Jordan's Alter Ego--Bubba, Nate
Discussion--- Boys Sucking (thanks, S, I love having new things to bitch about) Girls (yay, Nick finally found a hot blond who eats AND is fairly sane) and why Jon Mark needs to stop the creepy.
Well, now you all have an overview of my last night. I am basically sipping my diet coke chatting (see--- ranting manically) about the latest stupid face boy that I managed to find. The boys nodding supportively (uh, or fearfully... whichever) When we uncover this little gem... the story of how Jon Mark brought a girl on vacation to visit Nick and Nick ruthlessly stole her from him and made out with her. All while Jordanbubba or bubbajordan muttered on and on about Cameros and T/A, A/T etc.
Or at least that is version A of the story.
So for your amusement... I present to you blog readers, (hello Europe, Morgan, email me from the Internet cafe when you read this) CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE:
1. You have a free weekend and you are but a poor college student, so you decide to drive up to Chicago to hang with your friend Nick in his tiny hovel of a studio. On your way there you meet a cute girl do you
a. immediately invite said girl on weekend vacation...even though you have no idea if she is bat-ish crazy and you haven't really got the space for this chick. I mean what the hell, 8 hours in a car with a stranger... LOVE ALWAYS BLOOMS (move along to section 2)
b. Get the girls number, call her when you get home. (Obviously, you aren't very good at this, but you probably get mad chicks... so well played player... well played. Adventure Over)
2. You get to Chicago with girl and kid brother, you immediately
a. offer to sleep on the floor so that she can have the bed, and your little bro and friend share the couch. Thereby effectively making yourself available to share her bed if necessary, and completely blocking your buddy from getting anywhere near said cute girl. (HA... another trick question, well played. play on player! Adventure Over)
b. Hop into the cozy bed with your kid brother and hope for the best. (move along to section 3)
3. Upon realizing that the girl has a mild interest in your friend. Do you:
a. Immediately set off to prove your own worth by becoming the WORLD'S NICEST GUY. (move along, to section 4)
b. Back off, many fish in the proverbial sea, etc. Besides Chicago baby, why sit and mope when you can go eat! (truly, you are not the quickest of learners, but whatev baby, you got it in the end. Adventure Over)
4. The trip down awkward lane is ova! And the whole drive back, said girl says nothing to you. Not one peep. Not one turn left. Do you
a. Decide, now is as good time as any to blast the stereo.... chalk up the silence to girl gone crazy and resolve never to invite a girl on a mancation again. (adventure over... sure, you didn't escape with alot but at least we aren't gonna have to mock you 5 years from now)
b. Call, IM, send email, a written letter and a telegraph, trying to figure out WHAT'S WRONG? (uh... if you did that... you are JON MARK... and we need to have a serious talk about WHY girls are sometimes just weird and not worth it... love you kid)
BONUS.
Months and months later you find that your boy, kissed said girl while you were there and you never knew... do you
a. Laugh it off and put Tapatio in his cereal
b. Mock the girl. Tell everyone you weren't into her anyway, and deny plausibly how the calling, emailing and telegraph actually came from your neighbor/evil twin/resident assistant who was trying to DESTROY you.
Whatever jon mark chooses at this point will be hilarious. And that ladies and gents (johnny'sboysmayerheads) was my evening last night. Nick, watch your cereal.
Swim hugs for all!
Saturday, August 04, 2007
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